Weeks 4 & 5

So apparently I am skipping behind in my blogging again mostly due to lack of time and oomph to write. So I figured I'd at least get some photos up and then fill in with some words later!

Week 3

Dear Madelyn,

3 weeks already! And you are growing like a week. An adorable chunky little weed :) We had your 2 week check up this week. The general goal for newborns is to be back to birth weight by 10-14 days of age. When you were weighed at your appointment you were 9 lb 10 oz, which is 1 lb 6 oz above your birth weight! Your amazing breastfeeding has been paying off - and we're going to have to say goodbye to your newborn sized clothes pretty quickly, as you already popped open a snap on your kitty pajamas last night.

Our friends Aimee and Tom were in town for a wedding and came and stayed with us for a few days. Aimee cooked up a storm and we were eating well even after they left!

Your Nana V left after her almost 3 week stay helping us, and we had our first 24 hours on our own together! Poppa and Nana Laney came for a couple nights afterwards so you have continued to have great grandparent support. It was fun though spending all that time with you and a challenge to figure out just how many things I can do one handed since you like to be held all the time!

We tried out a pacifier for the first time - sometimes you like it and sometimes it makes you so mad!

Your favorite place is still sleeping on our chests - so most of my day is spent with you in the Moby wrap so I can get some things done. 

You are working hard at tummy time and just get frustrated when you want to be moving but you can't yet.

Looking forward to what the next week will bring!

Love you more than anything,
Your mamma

Pumpkin Patch!

Madelyn slept through her entire first visit to a pumpkin patch last weekend! Here is a photo dump of our excursion :)

Week 2

Dear Madelyn,

Can't believe we have known you for 2 weeks already! It seems like you arrived yesterday and forever ago. This week I think we have worked on two things - sleep and cloth diapers!

Sleeping. You have actually switched back your days and nights to the proper times pretty easily. I'm not exactly sure when this happened this week but it's pretty great. I think this is helped by the fact that you find sleeping in your crib or pack n play during the day boring, and will only sleep in someone's arms or in your Moby wrap. While for whatever reason you now have figured out sleeping in your pack n play at night (maybe because it's dark? you know you aren't missing out on something?), so you have two distinct types of sleeping. Either way, it's hard to complain when I can stay in bed for 10 hours at a time, just waking up to nurse you every 1-3 hours and occasionally wake up your daddy to change your diaper! You are really noisy when you sleep, with your little grunts and squawks, and flailing your legs and arms every once in a while. You still won't let us swaddle your arms even though I'm sure you would sleep much better at night. But you want what you want! We do get some fun morning snuggles in bed though before we get up for the day.

Cloth diapers. This has been a bit of an adventure. I had done tons of research prior to you being born and had planned to use our big stash of used newborn cloth diapers once we got through the meconium poop stage, so that we only had a few days of disposable diapers to deal with - and then to the one size diapers once you fit into them - guessed that would be 6-12 weeks down the road. So we started off with the plan, using the generous stash of newborn disposables sent over by Lindsey, friend from residency who had her adorable baby boy in May! Got through the meconium days pretty quickly, but then realized that the cloth diapers didn't fold down well for the umbilical stump so we then waited longer for that to fall off, and then your belly button to heal up enough that it wouldn't get irritated. So it took about 1.5 weeks until we switched. Sadly though, despite how insanely cute the newborn diapers looked on your little butt you were out peeing them already! And they barely fit. Clearly these were designed for a much smaller and less vigorously feeding newborn :) So on whim, I tried out the one size diapers to see if they would fit (the package did stay 8-35 lbs after all!) and they fit! Granted now you have a giant fluffy butt, but it is an adorable giant fluffy butt. Still stayed dry when you went over 7 hours without a diaper change while you were sleeping (not for the whole 7 hours straight, I wish!) so we were fully sold and I frantically bought some more to get our stash up to a useable size during a weekend sale. Somehow I only have a photo of you in one of the boring colors, but I'm sure this is the first of many.

Other things of note from this week - baby glamour photo shoot! We had your professional newborn photos taken. The photographer came out to our home and transformed our bedroom into a photo studio complete with a giant fluffy bean bag for posing and a space heater so you wouldn't get cold. 4.5 hours later you were done and while we have only seen two of the photos so far, we can't wait to see the rest!

Also went to the pumpkin patch - I will have a separate post for this so there is room for all the photos :)

You are getting more and more alert every day - and have started having more times of being cranky. I just wish I could tell what you need when you cry! So far between the crew of me, your daddy and your grandma Vicki we can generally make you happy again. And some days you're just happy all the time. We've gone to the dog park again, and also took you out to a burger place and you got to eat in public for the first time which was an interesting challenge in the narrow booth but you did great. Your mamma even got two of the trivia questions correct before we left!

We all love you so much Maddy, and are loving watching you grow up every day.

Love you more than anything,
Your mamma

Week 1

Okay folks, warning for mushiness ahead! I wanted to do weekly updates to match up with her weekly photo, and writing her a letter seemed like the best way. Although understandable a little gushy for an outside audience :) Blame it on the hormones, I am so in love with this tiny human I have no other excuse!

Dear Madelyn,

This has been one of the best weeks of my life. I had no idea I could be so sleep deprived and pooped on and yet so happy all at the same time! Bringing you home from the hospital didn't feel scary, it felt so right. There has been a big learning curve, for the both of us. We learned you absolutely hate having your arms swaddled, so that eliminates one of our main strategies to help you sleep. You will sleep like a charm in someone's arms, so that's how we managed the first couple of nights, taking shifts being your bed. Not that anyone could complain getting to watch all your fun faces you make while sleeping. We've slowly been moving over to having you sleep in the pack n play bassinet while we're sleeping at night. This works the best after 3am, and you like the ocean setting on your sleep sheep and the swaddler blanket hugging your belly and keeping your arms free. You still wake up a lot to eat and get daddy up for diaper changes. You get the hiccups a lot which you hate! We haven't figured out any way to get rid of them other than nursing. Speaking of which, you are so good at breastfeeding! It was one of my worries during pregnancy that we would run into some of the many challenges, but you make it so easy. 

Your outings this week have included going to the dog park when you were just a few days old. You love the Moby wrap!

Going to the doctor for your first check up, we found out you love the car seat. Especially when Tyler lifts it up and down. 

We went to the farmers market on your week birthday with the grandparents and we picked out a new onsie for your weekly photo this week. Then we went out to dinner and had delicious sandwiches while you stayed snuggled up to me in your wrap. 

Your umbilical stump fell off on your week birthday so you have a real belly button now! Still healing so we'll see if it's an innie or an outie. You have great head control already and can lift it up all the way during tummy time. It makes you mad though that you can't do more. You are such a mover and want to go everywhere on your own steam! You love it when daddy swings you back and forth in his arms as high as you can go. 

So far all the critters have adjusted well. The kitties aren't terribly phased overall although they don't understand when I get up with you at night and don't come pet them so they wail more. Rue thinks you're fun to sniff and is mostly concerned with all the strangers in the house from family staying with us. Malcolm had a really hard time the first couple of nights. He would get so concerned when you cried, he thought you were hurting, so he would whine and howl and pace. He had to spend a few nights downstairs sleeping in his crate. Now he has understood that sometimes you just cry (although really not a lot!) and everything is okay. He is always concerned when you aren't happy but is able to sleep back in the bedroom with us. He loves all the family visiting, and wishes they were here all the time!

I am so happy you were born and love getting all your cuddles and have a hard time sharing! You're growing already and I'm going to miss you being so little but I'm already looking forward to what each day will bring as you grow into your personality. 

Love you more than anything,

Your mama

Birth Story

As I sit here on the couch with my daughter asleep in her wrap I will attempt to write her birth story with the one hand I have free :) Mostly so that I can document all the little details for myself for the years to come.

September 26th, Friday:

Went to work for my regularly scheduled shift at 8am. 39+3 today and ready to barrel through the last three shifts I was scheduled for before my leave started. Everyone at work asking me how I was doing and I assured them all that yes, she had dropped but no I was not in labor and I planned to make it through all my shifts. I texted Tyler a little bit later to tell him how my pelvis was killing me - this baby head down there was no joke. He then told me I was going into labor, and again, I reassured I was not. Then around 9:30ish I started feeling contractions. I had been getting Braxton Hicks contractions during my work shifts for some time now, but these were definitely different. I figured this was false labor due to dehydration and set out to drinking a ton of water and continuing seeing patient after patient. They didn't let up even when I was so hydrated I was making a trip to the bathroom almost every 30 min, so I told Tyler this was possibly early labor, and I would keep him posted but not to get excited yet. Apparently he didn't listen and was in a hypomanic state the rest of the day from excitement. As the day went on I decided I should try and time my contractions, which wasn't easy during a busy work day - I would usually forget the time the last one had started by the time I got another. Though they seemed to be coming quite steadily every 5-10 minutes. I finally made it to the end of my shift, thankfully wasn't held over.

I rushed home to let the dogs out and get to my regularly scheduled OB visit. On the drive home since I had a clock in front of me I was able to time things and was having contractions like clockwork every 5 minutes. Still only in the uncomfortable realm though. Made it home for the dogs, got them settled and then drove over to VCU to see my OB. I found great street parking and made it up to my appointment - I had planned for her to strip my membranes (again convinced I would be post-dates and wanted to hedge anything in my favor) but now I actually wanted to know what my exam was to help figure out how real these contractions were. My appointment was fine, actually had a "yes" answer to the leaking fluid/bleeding/contractions question - but I still wasn't impressed by them though they were still coming about every 5 minutes. My exam was good, but not really telling of anything. 1-2 cm dilated and 70% effaced, which is a great starting point for a first time mom. But that may have been change made over the past couple weeks or that day, so my OB said maybe the next 72 hours, but who really knows. Tyler tried to make it to my appointment but just made it to the waiting room as I checked out, so we headed out to Costco to do our final nesting shopping and to prepare for family visiting. Either there is something in the air at Costco or it was all the walking that things really started to get more real. Now I was the giant pregnant lady stopping every 5 minutes to lean on the shopping cart when my contractions came. But still managed to get some ice cream to eat before we left so I figured it was still too early to tell. We managed to buy yet another baby outfit while we were at it, and stocked up on goodies and cereal for our incoming guests. By the time we made it to Trader Joe's though I was starting to have to breathe through my contractions and opted to stay in the car while Tyler made a mad shopping dash so that I wouldn't frighten the shoppers with their idea of a baby getting delivered in the 2 buck chuck aisle. Still, I didn't believe this was really going to be it.

We got home and I was stressed about deciding whether or not this was the real thing, because I would have to let my boss know to get my final two work shifts covered. If things petered off during the night and the next day would be like it was earlier today, I would have rather just gone to work and not missed the hours. So I decided I would lay low and see if I could make the contractions go away. Several episodes of Big Bang Theory didn't dissipate them, so I thought I would see if I could sleep them off. Not only did that not work but having contractions in bed was not comfortable in anyway. So at that point I decided I would just commit to this being the real thing and stop trying to hold them off. I texted my boss, who was excited and took care of the coverage. And then decided I needed to walk around the house like I would tell any other early labor patient to get things going. Tyler dutifully found a distracting movie to put on - The Birdcage - while I paced and huffed and agonized over when I should go into triage. I did not want to be the primip that showed up at 1-2 cm asking for an epidural. I almost wished my water would break so I would have a definitive turning point. Once I realized I could barely even get myself to keep walking because it made the contractions too intense, I decided to call it and Tyler grabbed our gear and we drove over to VCU. Luckily I had finished packing my hospital bag that week, which I was already rather late to the game on.

September 27th, Saturday:

The advantage of coming in after midnight was that the stork parking spots in the garage were free which was great. The trek to triage took a while, as I had to stop every few minutes for my contractions, I think I had about half a dozen on the way up, including one in the full elevator. And then 3 more while registering with L&D. I was so worried I wouldn't have made any cervical change from my check earlier that day, and while secretly hoping for them to tell me I was 5 cm dilated decided I would be happy with 3 cm. The residents that came in for my evaluation basically admitted me on sight based on how I looked with my contractions, which were now every 2 minutes. Still had to do the exam though and I was 3 cm dilated, 100% effaced. So just on the cusp of active labor by exam but definitely clinically active! I agreed to be in their suture study in between contractions, they were comparing the healing process of vicryl and chromic, and then they whisked me off to my swanky L&D suite. I wish they had remodeled the postpartum rooms first, because I definitely didn't give a crap how swanky my room was at that point. I really wanted to hold out until 5 cm for my epidural, so I set out to find the best way to cope with my contractions that were cooking away. The unfortunate part was that I couldn't find a good coping position that was compatible with my desire to sleep in between, as I was already exhausted from my work shift, errands and now over 12 hours of early labor. And while walking would have been logical to help things progress, they made my contractions so intense I couldn't manage it. I managed to stick it out until my next cervical check where they told me I was 4-5 cm so I hailed the anesthesiologist. Getting the epidural was surprisingly uneventful, other than having to hold completely still during contractions which was as hard as it sounds. And oh was it glorious. I was able to sleep for the first time, well doze really because my mind was racing too much to sleep, and just let my contractions do their thing, which they continued to come every 2 minutes. When they rechecked me around 6:30am I was 6 cm dilated, which was great news - excellent progress overall, and the resident AROM'd me (broke my bag of water). Tyler ran home to take care of the dogs, as we didn't have any back up plan for their care in the event of me going into labor before my mom arrived. Sadly my next check around 9am I was still 6 cm, although the residents had changed shifts, so I felt really discouraged and was thinking I would need pitocin if I wasn't changed at my next check. Apparently though the OB attending that day must have been really hands off because they decided not to check me until the early afternoon, or earlier if I was feeling pressure. I really didn't understand the logic behind this but let my team decide what was best - I still was contracting super regularly so I just let my body do its thing (and the glorious epidural do its thing). So finally sometime after 1pm I thought maybe I was feeling some pressure, but I'd just gotten an add on my epidural and frankly couldn't feel too much of anything. But my nurse diligently got the resident to come and check who informed me I was complete and 3+ station, ready to push! All the way dilated and didn't even need to labor down anymore. I couldn't have had better news. So I woke Tyler up (he was much better at sleeping through this watch and wait part of labor than I was) and so began the marathon. I think I have underestimated how challenging and exhausting pushing really is - never again. It took 3 hours of pushing until my little girl made it into this world! I honestly wasn't sure I could do it, I thought I would need a vacuum for maternal exhaustion I was getting so spent. And I could have killed my nurse who kept telling me I was "so close" for about 2 hours, as it took me about an hour to realize that it meant nothing. And feeling first hand how discouraging it is to have the resident walk in, watch me push, and then walk out again. I know exactly what that means! Not going anywhere fast. Also to add in that my temperature was elevated, up to 100.2 and the FHT was tachy in the 170s, so I was just hovering on the border of being called chorio, which I did not want. That would have meant a 48 hour stay in the hospital and likely antibiotics for the baby. Luckily I managed to push her out without any assistance and didn't even tear too badly considering that she was much bigger than we thought - 8 lb 4 oz!

We got to have our skin to skin time, in which I was still in a daze. Madelyn was already asserting herself by getting really cranky when the nurse tried to help her breastfeed. So I fended her off and let her do her thing and she latched on all by herself and breastfed like a champ! Clearly already a genius. Once they finally pried her from me and she had her exam and we found out her weight - we made all the requisite phone calls to family. My brother was at an airport waiting for his connecting flight to New Zealand, and my mom was already in the air on her way to Richmond so we had to wait for her to land to fill her in. Tyler again had to run home to take care of the dogs before we settled in for the night, but made it back before I switched rooms to the postpartum floor. In the meantime I had gotten dinner and devoured it while Madelyn snuggled next to me.

The next 24 hours were a blur of feedings (still a breastfeeding champ, she was way ahead of her feeding goals and even the lactation consultant had nothing to add!), exams for the both of us, social security forms (hello new person in this world!), routine screenings and lots of awkward bathroom trips. I convinced our teams that we could go home at the earliest they would allow, the 24 hour mark, and I don't think there was anything better than walking through the door with our brand new daughter in my arms.

Most of our hospital photos are on the real camera which I haven't hooked up yet, so here is one from my phone so the post isn't photo-less. This is from right after she was born.

Countdown is on!

Critter updates:

Kitties are continuing to sleep as much as possible, only taking breaks to annoy us or beg for food. Lately the cats have decided that my squashed bladder is not adequate conditioning for poor sleep at night and have taken to maintaining a regular howling vigil outside our bedroom door throughout the night, complete with attempting to dig through the door. We are not amused.

Rue is working on getting her ears to stand up straight, although she forgot to grow into them first. She's been at one ear up, one ear with the tip flopped down pretty consistently for a few weeks now, although sometimes they're both up or both down. We're convinced she's done this to copy Malcolm as now their ears are mirror images of each other. She also finished up the last of her puppy food this week and is onto big dog kibble! Her birthday is the day before the baby's due date so it's hard to believe we're so close. It seems like just the other day she was a little puppy riding on my lap in the car to puppy class...

Life updates:

Sabrina came to visit! Best friend from college who is getting a slew of masters degrees at Columbia took the train down from NYC to hang out for the weekend. We had a lovely lazy weekend of catching up, sweltering on the Canal Walk, eating my first attempt at pulled pork (it worked!), meandering through Maymont Park and watching some old episodes of Castle :) I suppose there are some advantages to living on the East Coast if now we're only a train ride away.

Work continues on; I officially am crossing off the days until my last shift on a calendar on the fridge! It seems like lately my mission has been to reduce inappropriate benzo use (mostly Xanax). We have to reconcile the medications for everyone we see - which is a pain but also useful. And I've caught 2 women in their 70s on chronic benzos for sleep aids, which not only is a terrible habit forming medication for sleep but also is on a list of medications that you should not prescribe patients older than 65. Both seemed to be shocked that the meds weren't safe for them, and hopefully the time I spent educating them (of course both times unrelated to the issue that brought them into me in the first place) will amount to something. But ultimately their providers need to be better about their geriatric polypharmacy! And then there was the 20 something year old wanting her chronic xanax refill for her anxiety that she hadn't seen her psychiatrist for in 8 months and just ER hopped for refills. Needless to say she didn't get anymore from me, other than my speech about how inappropriate benzos are for anxiety treatment and how she needs regular care and CBT and sticking to her other meds. Probably failed my customer satisfaction on that one! Also on that note - why do patients feel that lingering in the doorway of their room and looking peeved will make me see them faster? Note to those patients: you came to a walk in clinic and the rooms are all full! Sometimes I have to see the kid with an asthma attack and hypoxia and the elderly man with chest pain that came in after you did, but you came in with a cold so you can wait (also - you're not getting antibiotics for your virus so just give it up now). 

Baby Updates:

Baby Laney is officially term at 37 weeks this week (although she needs to stay in until at least 39 weeks for growing, and 40 weeks for me to finish working!). Still an active little thing but running out of room. Had a giant shopping spree on Labor Day - this is what it looks like when you order 25 things from Amazon and they all arrive at once! Not to mention all the other hippy cloth diaper sales I hit, as well as finishing up our Etsy shopping just to round it all out.

Speaking of hippy cloth diapers, I finally did a few loads of baby bedding/clothes in the wash to fully prep things. Baby Laney now has a good supply of onesies, socks, blankets and fresh sheets on her crib and pack-n-play! I also washed our set of newborn cloth diapers to freshen them up from their prior life and they were pretty adorable hanging out to dry. I hope we can keep up with the cloth diaper plan because these are just too adorable to trade for landfill diapers!

I still need to pack my hospital bag and all that jazz, but overall we're feeling pretty ready. Break and bake cookies were on a managers special at the store the other day so we also have a good stash of frozen cookie dough - so I think we are fully prepared. Babies like cookies, right?